Category: Humor

Trash Pandas offer assistance in recycling initiative

Written by Jared Kennedy

Recent influence has pushed Colorado to become more eco friendly. Goats are a new trend for clearing weeds from an overtaken yard, so why not use raccoons to clear unwanted decaying food from the city streets. These adorable critters aka Trash pandas willingly donate their services gratis! Best of all composting time is eliminated.

 If you have ever been downtown in Lodos on a friday or saturday night, it is no secret that it’s a circus out there! The lower downtown area remains one Denver’s hotspots. If you want cheap well drinks, to get sauced with friends, or simply to people watch- this is the place for you. Shoulder to shoulder packed bars, dancing, and chaos in the streets escalate the excitement. 

In addition, the Rockies games are in full session! A large portion of attendees hit the bars after the game. On the corner of 20th and Market, The Viewhouse, The Tavern, and Cowboy Lounge all offer rooftop views of the streets and surrounding areas. The Viewhouse also has a lawn style outdoor patio. El Capultapec, one of Denver’s oldest jazz clubs even serves food late. With an abundance of food trucks, you can catch views of people eating and often dropping food as they struggle to reach the next bar. 

When the bars close and the people stagger home, the trash pandas comes out and begin their feast! They are quite efficient and do not consume energy, leaving a low carbon footprint. This raccoon was spotted on 19th and market and calls home to a sewer drain. A local street resident told a pedestrian filming the beast, it had babies and could attack. Video mode was quickly activated but no attack was initiated. Oh well…..